The Value of Boredom

     An apology is in order. I fell into a classic parenting trap. I told my kids that being bored was an inexcusable sign of a lack of creativity. And I believed it.
     According to psychoanalyst Adam Phillips, having the capacity to be bored is actually an essential element for a full life.
     Boredom is halfway between wanting something to spark our interest, and hoping we come up with something on our own. These two wishes are actually in opposition, but neither is fulfilled. In fact, what we really hope for is that we'll actually become interested at all. But we're not. Everything we look at is meh. We become preoccupied with the fact that we're not preoccupied.
     Phillips points out that despite the irritation and frustration we feel when we're bored, we are actually "reaching to a recurrent sense of emptiness out of which [our] real desire can crystallize."
     Hmm...emptiness...real desire... Wait, doesn't everything arise out of emptiness? Isn't that the necessary condition for something new? This is ancient wisdom. But we dread that irritation--and someone told us it was inexcusable--so we check our cellphones, turn on the television, surf the Web, play solitaire, or just complain to other people whenever the level of stimulation drops below a certain point. It's better to be busily unfulfilled.
     We end up displacing the emptiness out of which what we really want can arise. If we do get to that stillness, we might find it boring. That's okay.
     Lauren, Sarina, Ryan and Alan: I'm sorry. You don't need my permission anymore, but you have it, late though it is. You can be bored now. I won't judge you for it. I'm learning not to judge myself for avoiding it.