Cleverness

"When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I'm old, I admire kind people."
~Abraham Joshua Heschel

I was 14 or 15 years old and wanted desperately to be clever. Someone I thought was clever had made a joke and since he wasn't around at the time, I pulled out the joke to get a laugh. It was about "the stupidest name in the world," just making fun of the sound of a particular name. I exaggerated the vowels and consonants, just as the clever guy had done. One of my classmates looked at me with quiet disappointment and said: "That's my father's name." I was immediately crushed by that simple truth and the love behind it.

That lesson took me two more tries before I actually learned it--two more situations in which I chose cleverness only to be stricken by the unkindness hidden inside it. To drive the lesson home, the universe made sure I actually got to see the faces of the people I hurt as I did so. Some of them weren't even part of the conversation; they just happened to overhear me trying to be clever.

I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I just wanted to be funny. One joke was even intended to be at my own expense. It wasn't worth it.

Sure, everyone needs a thick skin. People say things all the time and we deal with it.

But I've learned that kindness pays huge dividends. Both the giver and the receiver benefit. It's inexpensive to produce and easily distributed. It's natural. It's who we are.

There's someone nearby who could use some. Guaranteed.